Holidaze, 2014

It’s been a good holiday season and a bad one. Good, in that I got to see family–I think I’ve seen all my relations on both sides of the family since I moved in November, which is no small feat. (And there were no drama or fights or even many awkward situations, which is pretty impressive, imho.) Freya said that when I moved out here, I should look to them for guidance and advice. I’m still not sure how that will all play out, but I’m in Jera; everything will come to fruition in its own time. Sit and wait; sit and wait.

The bad side of the season has come in two forms, emotional and physical. Physical was (and still is)  that I’ve been dealing with enormous tooth pain (I hate dental work.) Good news is that my dental insurance starts in January, so the goal is to hold on until then if possible. Yay for pain meds! The emotional side kicked in in comparing this Christmas with last year’s, and the various ghosts of Christmases past–ex-husbands, ex-jobs, ex-houses and living situations, ex-cats; and the ghosts of Christmas what-might-have-beens–kids, a house, a lasting marriage with a stable, reliable partner who is  supportive and kind (add in some charisma and open-mindedness, and I’d be a happy camper). A good friend of mine ends her emails with this quote:

Gracious future: won’t you lend a hand to pull me through? Cause me and you got some things we need to see to. Let’s get to work. Lifeline ~ Imogen Heap

If I could go back and talk to my 20-year old self, or even my 35-year-old self, I’d tell her to hang on; things will get better. In other words, I know the future will be better than it is today–and, all things considered, ‘today’ is not that bad at all. But I hate the not knowing.

Sit and wait; sit and wait.

Tis the season for analyzing the past year and coming up with a plan for the new. Whatever this next year brings, I know it will be something I won’t expect and can’t even imagine right now.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

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