The side I was missing

So last night, at the prodding of my Gods, and also because this is becoming a regular event, I did a Midsummer all-around check-in with my Gods. I talked with a number of them about a number of things, most of which I won’t be sharing here. (They are either too private or not yet manifested, or both.) My conversation with Freyr was enlightening, though, and unlike the rest, I think parts of it were aimed at a greater audience than just me:

“When I am crowned as king,” Freyr said, “as I have been in the past, I first take stock of that which I have been given. I check the stores. What needs to be filled, and what is already in great supply? I can bring great fertility, but there’s no point in giving more of what we already have enough of. Where do you need me in your life? What parts are empty, or have been left fallow or unused?

I am the guiding hand when decisions of stability, fertility, and abundance must be made. When others depend upon you to lead or provide, call on me, and I am there.

I am the growth spurt that helps you grow, and strengthens and reinforces your plans currently in motion. I am the potential of every seed, of every choice, of every plan; now, and in the future. Just because you do not call on me or acknowledge me does not mean that I have not always been there–watching, waiting, being. I am in potentia; I am that which waits.”

Other parts were clearly just for me. At one point I asked Him, Why me? He laughed. Why not you? He answered. Anyway, it was already chosen before you were born. Why did you ever think you had any choice? He said as He shook his head, smiling at my silliness. Clearly he did not see any downside to me being His. We have a lot of time to make up for. I tried to imagine my entire life–everything I do, every choice I make—coated with His energy, instead just mine and Freya’s, and when I looked up at Freya to get her reaction, She beamed at me so brightly with jubilation that was hard to bear.

Apparently, my sovereignty comes from acknowledging his effect in my life. It is only through accepting Him that I will ever full regain my own powers. (Which makes me think, which powers? And when did I lose them…? Questions for another journey on another day, apparently.)

One thought on “The side I was missing

  1. I said hi to Frey for the first time in ages and that night Freyja showed me how Her love for Freyr feels. I was in such awe of the wholeness of Her love for Him that my heart lit on fire for Her.
    Reading this post makes me think I should call Him up and ask for help.

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