So I submit for Day 9 of the #90 Days of Odin project Thenea‘s new Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard Spock rules:
Followed closely by our conversation as to who would win at oiled wrestling, Odin or Hermes. (WARNING: The following conversation is full of indiscretion, and perhaps even heresy. You have been warned.)
Thenea: Also, Hermes says he’s way to fast for Odin to ever spear butt him successfully
Cara: Now that’s a fight I’d love to witness
just be a fly on the wall
Thenea : Odin would be all SRS and trying to stab. Hermes would be pretending to make a frappucino, casually making it look like he was “obliviously” ducking out of the way at the exactly right moment and “accidentally” hitting Odin in the face with a blender repeatedly.
And apologizing repeatedly the whole time
Cara: omg totally
Thenea: Spilling no small amount of chocolate sauce on his opponent
Cara: like, getting it in Odin’s one good eye
Thenea: “OMIGOSH I’M SOOOOO SORY!”
Cara: which would totally put Odin into berserker mode
Thenea: Flailing blindly isn’t really a great way to hit a deity who can practically teleport
Cara: well it also makes him impervious to weapons
like, say, of the chocolate sauce variety
Thenea: But NOT impervious to being completely covered in silly string.
this is true
he is a god of communication, too, though
so, maybe the silly string can was labeled incorrectly and shot back at Hermes instead
Thenea: See… them getting into a fight… they’d enter the ring with completely different objectives
Odin would want to win in the traditional sense. Hermes would want to win by making the other guy look like a maximum tool.
I totally asked Odin what he would do in this situation
and he said he wouldn’t do anything
he’d send in Loki instead
and Hermes would be totally distracted and they’d end up laughing their asses off
Thenea: Or making out
Cara: –yeah, or making chocolate porn–
While Odin slips by and gets whatever it was that was aiming for to begin with
Thenea: See, I kind of imagined them sparring, like WWF style
But neither of them would ever do that.
Cara: oiled up?
Thenea : Yes. I suppose. Oiled up and wearing ridiculous costumes.
Cara: oh yes. drag queen style
Thenea: Hermes assures me that you don’t wrestle with costumes. Clothing gets in the way.
Cara: indeed it does!