90 Days of Odin, day 9: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock, and naked deity wrestling

So I submit for Day 9 of the #90 Days of Odin project Thenea‘s new Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard Spock rules:

Thenea rock paper scissors lizard spock

Followed closely by our conversation as to who would win at oiled wrestling, Odin or Hermes. (WARNING: The following conversation is full of indiscretion, and perhaps even heresy. You have been warned.)

Thenea: Also, Hermes says he’s way to fast for Odin to ever spear butt him successfully

Cara: Now that’s a fight I’d love to witness
just be a fly on the wall

Thenea : Odin would be all SRS and trying to stab. Hermes would be pretending to make a frappucino, casually making it look like he was “obliviously” ducking out of the way at the exactly right moment and “accidentally” hitting Odin in the face with a blender repeatedly.
And apologizing repeatedly the whole time

Cara: omg totally

Thenea: Spilling no small amount of chocolate sauce on his opponent

Cara: like, getting it in Odin’s one good eye

Thenea: “OMIGOSH I’M SOOOOO SORY!”

Cara: which would totally put Odin into berserker mode

Thenea: Flailing blindly isn’t really a great way to hit a deity who can practically teleport

Cara: well it also makes him impervious to weapons
like, say, of the chocolate sauce variety

Thenea: But NOT impervious to being completely covered in silly string.

Cara: no
this is true
he is a god of communication, too, though
so, maybe the silly string can was labeled incorrectly and shot back at Hermes instead

Thenea: See… them getting into a fight… they’d enter the ring with completely different objectives
Odin would want to win in the traditional sense. Hermes would want to win by making the other guy look like a maximum tool.

Cara: aha
I totally asked Odin what he would do in this situation
and he said he wouldn’t do anything
he’d send in Loki instead
and Hermes would be totally distracted and they’d end up laughing their asses off

Thenea: Or making out

Cara: –yeah, or making chocolate porn–
While Odin slips by and gets whatever it was that was aiming for to begin with

Thenea: See, I kind of imagined them sparring, like WWF style
But neither of them would ever do that.

Cara: oiled up?

Thenea : Yes. I suppose. Oiled up and wearing ridiculous costumes.

Cara: oh yes. drag queen style

Thenea: Hermes assures me that you don’t wrestle with costumes. Clothing gets in the way.

Cara: indeed it does!

6 thoughts on “90 Days of Odin, day 9: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock, and naked deity wrestling

  1. This whole post is so perfect, I do not know how to handle it.

    Except to say that I would pay good money to see this wrestling match. Clearly it needs to be tag teams though, if Odin’s tagging Loki in. Who would Hermes’ tag team partner be?

  2. I can only think of walking out of the room laughing truth betold lol
    My poor husband covered in chocolate sauce LMAO, what a night that will be.

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