Busy, busy, busy. My mundane job has kept me insanely busy these past few weeks. Too busy to think–or to grieve, which is a blessing sometimes. Here’s some thinky thoughts and processing that that I’ve been having recently:
–Two blogs. I’m going to add two new blogs. One will be a shrine of sort for the Vanir, name TBD. (Something about hearth and home, likely). The second one, called “A Community of Gods Surround Me”, will be my polytheist blog, where I’ll get to focus on things like polytheist theology and hot topics, and post about deity stuff and interactions from all pantheons. Once I stop working 50 hour weeks, I’ll get those up and going. Oh, and I’m going to keep the Freya one as it is. I’ll just add a short note to let visitors know that the blog won’t be updated very often for the foreseeable future.
–The changing seasons. One of the immediate downsides to connecting strongly with the land and cyclical god like Freyr is that the seasons change, constantly and dramatically, and I have no power to stop or otherwise mitigate their changing. Freyr is often seen to go “into the mound” in the winter and in Spring to have his “rebirth”. I already have Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I remember it being particularly bad when I was growing up here. Fall especially hit me hard, because I could see the end of the light and the warm times and knew there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Conversely, I also love Fall–the colors, the smells, the food. It’s my favorite season. Sigh.
–I’ve started sponsoring people on Patreon. It makes me feel happy to do so.I don’t have a lot of spare $, but now that I blog regularly, I really see what a pain in the ass it is to also have a #dayjob and try to do anything spiritual or introspective. Here’s hoping that other people can also sponsor these authors and our combined contributions add up to enough to keep them afloat.
–Freya. I miss Her terribly but I got a bit of insight into the situation with her when I was at my 12-step meeting the other day. I’m struggling now because in my 12-step program, She’s my Higher Power, and I’m having to adjust to the fact She is not longer It. It’s more like “They all” are my HP, which let me tell you, is an adjustment. But what someone read at the meeting really resounded. Paraphrased, it said “Why do you think that the situation that you are in now is not ALSO part of Her plan?” And it hit me–duh, of course it is. She’s not gone for good; I’m still her House, and I’m housesitting. I’m deeply embedded with Her family, and I still catch faint glimmers of Her love and her messages. She put me in this situation for a reason. I even know a lot of what that reason is, which is more than most folks. Now I just need to do it. I am loved. I am taken care of. And it’s gonna be all right. 🙂