So, I started out putting together my handout on the runes, and ended up listening to an hour-long recent interview with Freya Aswynn on a British talk radio podcast. (It turns out she is still really on the ball, though not as actively involved in Heathen things as she had been for, oh, the last 30 years. Also, Freya Aswynn = the first modern Heathen devotional polytheist, eh?) All of which I only did because I was waiting for the WoW client to install on my Windows laptop, but hey–Odin moves in mysterious ways. Such is life of a Heathen on teh Interwebs.
I’ve been wandering around more in Odin territory the last couple of years–running around doing interfaith work, devotional/initiatory stuff, hanging with a ton of Odinswomen, blogging; and more recently doing the #90DaysOfOdin project. Now I’m organizing/teaching Heathen classes (the next of which will be about the Germanic magic) and just generally getting more in touch with the runes. He’s also just been hovering, because He hovers. (Much more subtly that Freyr ever did, btw.)
And with the changing of the seasons, He’s become much more tangible in a way I hadn’t really expected. Freyr has gone into the Mound, but this is the first year I’ve been connected enough with Him on a personal level to notice that change. Odin has gone nowhere, and in fact has upped His presence. I don’t want to wedge the two of Them into some kind of Norse “Oak King/Holly King “or “summer vs winter god” dichotomy–my experience is that their energies don’t balance out very well in that way–but that’s kind of how Their influence seems to be playing out in my life at the moment. (Also there’s Thor, which is a new element. But that will be another post, I imagine.) At the moment I’m just trying to record my observations and experiences of Them, not analyze or predict them. Maybe it’ll all make more sense once a year’s gone by and I have more things to compare it to. *shrug*
Anyway, back to Odin. Because I know He’s not going away, and because I know I’ve been pouting about working with Him (though much more passive-aooressively than I had with Freyr), I’ve started consciously trying to get myself into the “Odin mood”. To buy into what I’ve always seen as his “hype” and willingly start drinking the navy-blue Kool-Aid. Since experience has taught me to be automatically wary of anyone who’s Super Popular and Shiny, I’m really trying to repress that impulse when it comes to Him. So, I’ve slowly been adding Odin stuff to my day–reading poetry, articles, personal descriptions of Him, looking at artwork, etc., which is how I ended up listening to a full our of a Freya Aswynn interview, when I never sit still long enough to watch or listen to anything on the internet that’s longer than 3 minutes.
Bu the instruction I’m getting from Him is odd, or so it feels. He’s saying, Put it down. Let go of the chuckles and the whizzbang and the smiles. Put down the mic, and turn off the recorder. Sit, and just be.
His “just be” is very different from Freyr’s “just be”. His “just be” is “cut out the bullshit and quit hiding, dodging, or spit-shining attempts to interact with people as you actually are”. Freyr’s “just be” is, well, just be. Just be still and be in your physical body, and through it sense your connection to your land and the world you live in. Odd that they say the same thing, but meant it in such different ways. Odd that I have a hard time doing either thing. Scared shitless that both seem to be opposite of lessons I’ve learned with Freya. Scared shitless that I’ll lose my connection with Freya when I learn new lessons with Them.
But that’s the point, right? She kicked me out of the nest and set me on this path for a reason. The only way out is through.
And today it snowed. Winter isn’t coming; Winter is already here.