Healing Through Sex and Intimacy (or, What Would You Do With A Night With Freya?)

I ran across a meme on my FB account today that really took me back to one of the many lessons of Freya. Here it is:

This is one of the best examples of Freya’s type of healing that I’ve seen. It’s the type of Her healing that I wish more people would acknowledge. In today’s society, sex work is often denigrated, and sex is the only intimacy that many people, particularly men, allow themselves. Makes for quite a conundrum, and it makes intimacy, and the intensely powerful emotional healing that it can bring, highly devalued.

If you’re new to the blog, or new to Freya, the myth of Brisingamen is the most fleshed-out one we have of Freya. In it, Freya, goddess of many things–including, but not limited to, sex, death, wealth, love, and magic–spies a beautiful necklace one day being made by four expert dwarvish craftsmen. She goes to them to gain it, and after some bartering they state that all they want is one night with her, each. Freya agrees, and the dwarves get their time with her and she gets the most beautiful necklace in the world–her key defining symbol, in fact. But what does this one night with her entail? We are left to imagine it for ourselves.

When I used to run my Brisingamen Myth Embodiment workshops, I really tried to help people to open up their ideas of “what would you do with a night with Freya?” Freya is definitely the goddess of wild hot nasty sex, sure–but She is just as much, if not more so, the goddess of emotional, transformational healing. Her method? Maybe it’s sex, and maybe it’s just transformative intimate time spent with another being.

Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of really good ideas as to what might happen. Surprisingly, when I’ve run this with mixed company, the men or male-identified individuals were the ones who come up with the most creative non-sex suggestions. (When I ran this with a female-only group, ironically, even with mixed sexual orientations, the first and most adamant suggestion was “hot nasty sex”.) Some men have suggested, that for example they spend a night being inspired by Freya to further their art medium of choice. Or, they they spend the night just being held and caressed by Freya: being made to feel treasured, or beautiful, maybe for the first time in their lives. Or, that they take advantage of Her vast knowledge of magic and spend the night in intense learning mode, gathering mystical secrets and leveling their understanding of the universe. Some of these suggestions included sex in the bargain, but not all did. I think what most of these suggestions had in common was a desire for intense intimate connection with another living being, with an end goal of being transformed at the end of it.

And, of course, some people just want or need intimacy of hard, heart-pounding sex. Whatever works, eh? That’s another part of Her magic–knowing exactly what it is that each person needs, and being able to provide it. After all, what might heal one person could end up harming another person. Healing would be no good of it were “one size fits all”. Whatever method is used, from whomever it is given, intimacy is the key.