Updating

Time to catch up 🙂 A few things:

The Strong Roots and Wide Branches Indiegogo campaign was fully funded! We even hit our stretch goal. Yay! Almost time to fly back to Cali. It will be weird not leading an main program rituals, but I’m looking forward to finally having a polytheist shrine at PantheaCon!

There have been some changes at Patheos.com. The site was bought by a larger company and recently they laid down a new contract on all of the bloggers on the site that included being able to take bloggers’ content and change its format (for example, into a quiz).  A lot of bloggers have been up in arms about it; a few have left. I will likely be leaving soon as well. I have been needing to cut down a bit on my public blogging regardless 😦 I will still be blogging at Huginn’s Heathen Hof either way.

Also, I think I will officially lay my “30Days of Njord” to rest. I did my best; time to move on.

 

Sept. 2015 misc

Busy, busy, busy. My mundane job has kept me insanely busy these past few weeks. Too busy to think–or to grieve, which is a blessing sometimes. Here’s some thinky thoughts and processing that that I’ve been having recently:

–Two blogs. I’m going to add two new blogs. One will be a shrine of sort for the Vanir, name TBD. (Something about hearth and home, likely). The second one, called “A Community of Gods Surround Me”, will be my polytheist blog, where I’ll get to focus on things like polytheist theology and hot topics, and post about deity stuff and interactions from all pantheons. Once I stop working 50 hour weeks, I’ll get those up and going. Oh, and I’m going to keep the Freya one as it is. I’ll just add a short note to let visitors know that the blog won’t be updated very often for the foreseeable future.

–The changing seasons. One of the immediate downsides to connecting strongly with the land and cyclical god like Freyr is that the seasons change, constantly and dramatically, and I have no power to stop or otherwise mitigate their changing. Freyr is often seen to go “into the mound” in the winter and in Spring to have his “rebirth”. I already have Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I remember it being particularly bad when I was growing up here. Fall especially hit me hard, because I could see the end of the light and the warm times and knew there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Conversely, I also love Fall–the colors, the smells, the food. It’s my favorite season. Sigh.

–I’ve started sponsoring people on Patreon. It makes me feel happy to do so.I don’t have a lot of spare $, but now that I blog regularly, I really see what a pain in the ass it is to also have a #dayjob and try to do anything spiritual or introspective. Here’s hoping that other people can also sponsor these authors and our combined contributions add up to enough to keep them afloat.

–Freya. I miss Her terribly but I got a bit of insight into the situation with her when I was at my 12-step meeting the other day. I’m struggling now because in my 12-step program, She’s my Higher Power, and I’m having to adjust to the fact She is not longer It. It’s more like “They all” are my HP, which let me tell you, is an adjustment. But what someone read at the meeting really resounded. Paraphrased, it said “Why do you think that the situation that you are in now is not ALSO part of Her plan?” And it hit me–duh, of course it is. She’s not gone for good; I’m still her House, and I’m housesitting. I’m deeply embedded with Her family, and I still catch faint glimmers of Her love and her messages. She put me in this situation for a reason. I even know a lot of what that reason is, which is more than most folks. Now I just need to do it. I am loved. I am taken care of. And it’s gonna be all right.  🙂

Catching up on blogs and such

A confession: I got caught up on a total of 0 blogs or posts while on vacation. We ended up cutting out any long-distance travel in our plans (no Oslo, Mälmo, or Gotenburg), and pretty much every single public transport experience which offered Wifi was used to map out our next steps, check email, check finances, and randomly check in on FB. So if you’ve said or writing anything particularly relevant to me or that you think I should catch up on, please ping me about it and/or drop a link to it here. Thanks!

What to write (March 2015 version)

So I realized I haven’t posted a lot of personal content recently. Part of that is due to the fact that I’m a lot busier at work, and so, after work, I’m a lot less interested in spending hours at the computer doing more typing. Also, I have a number of blog posts which are in process but each requires a lot more time and effort to finish than I currently have available.

Current blog posts in progress:

  • The differences between Wicca and Heathenry (aka: Wiccan privilege, and how to avoid venting at unsuspecting Wiccans who really don’t know anything about Heathenry)
  • Why Athelstan is my favorite character on Vikings (it’s relevant, really! I have deep thoughts about it. And not just because George Blagden is quite possibly the most adorable person currently residing in Midgard)
  • Reworking my fylgia article to include info from the latest Idunna
  • My experience participating in my first public ADF ritual (this year’s Ostara)
  • Typing up a review/overview of the Ladyofthelabyrinth’s “Hidden Knowledge in Old Norse Myths” youtube series

If anyone has a preference as to which post gets finished first, let me know. It’ll help me focus my energies and actually get one of these done 🙂

Moving from altar to energy

So, I’m smack-dab in the middle of packing, and watching what I’ve built for the last 2.5 years be slowly deconstructed. I’m very big about having each thing I own go to the right person, someone who needs it and will appreciate it. As I’m dedicated to Freya now, this also means I can’t just give things away like I used to. She expects me to actually get compensated for expensive things, like the lovely brown leather corset with embossed harvest-colored leaves on the front, or my fancy set of original Pavel kettlebells. Moving would go a lot faster if I just gave these things away, but I can see her point, especially as this move is primarily financially motivated.

The long and the short of this is that big sections of my life have already been packed up, given away, or sent off to my parents’ house–including parts of my altars. Their sense of presence and power have been disrupted, and I’m kind of unnerved by it.

However, maybe there is a silver lining. When I was Wiccan, way back in the day, I was always that Wiccan, the one who felt that I needed no wand or pentacle or what have you because those things were just symbols and tools for accessing what I already had inside me. So, why waste the money? Just visualize it. This worked out ok, actually, until the Wiccan love for fancy regalia and my own Taurus tendencies to own things took over. But I always remembered that attitude. That’s at least part of why became Heathen. We don’t need no stinking regalia! Heathenry works just fine without it. (Though, of course, that doesn’t stop me from having fancy regalia. I am a Freyaswoman after all.)

Now, with most of my altars broken and their components scattered or given away, I’m connecting more with the energy that was behind the altars. It’s great that my Freya altar had tons of amber, gold-ish things, hearts, sweet libations, love notes, and jewelry, but the altar can be just as powerful without them. In fact, it is.

I might even say that my altars may have gotten in the way of my connection to the Gods sometimes. Now, I just have the God-shaped energy hanging out in that general area, unattached to any specific item, and I can feel more of what that energy is and what it is doing. My Gods are bigger than my altars! Who knew? They also feel more mature; or, at least the energies that I’m connecting with seem to have a lot more depth and maturity to them than those that hid within my trinkets. (Of course, that could just as easily be because I’m doing a lot of owning up to past behaviors and making serious, grown-up changes in my life. Maybe it’s both. /shrug)

I’m just trying to find the gold beneath the trauma of moving (yet again), of experiencing the trauma of my lovely, hand-picked, highly valuable possessions being passed on (yet again)–to homes that will appreciate them, granted, but still–out of my life, and into the life of another. But as She says, if you want to have newer and better things of all types come into your life, you need to let the old ones go (preferably freely and without resentment). Sigh. Yes, ma’am.

You know you’re a Heathen if…

I say, “Remember that scene in in The 13th Warrior? You know, “Lo! There do I….” and you can finish the entire quote (cracking up or tearing up while doing so still counts). For you, I give you this. Happy Wednesday.

“Lo, there do I see my father

Lo, there do I see my mother

and my sisters and my brothers

Lo, there do I see the line of my people

back to the beginning.

Lo, they do call to me

They bid me take my place among them.

In the halls of Valhalla,

where the brave shall live forever.”

(No, it’s not historically accurate, but it’s perfect.)