Healing Through Sex and Intimacy (or, What Would You Do With A Night With Freya?)

I ran across a meme on my FB account today that really took me back to one of the many lessons of Freya. Here it is:

This is one of the best examples of Freya’s type of healing that I’ve seen. It’s the type of Her healing that I wish more people would acknowledge. In today’s society, sex work is often denigrated, and sex is the only intimacy that many people, particularly men, allow themselves. Makes for quite a conundrum, and it makes intimacy, and the intensely powerful emotional healing that it can bring, highly devalued.

If you’re new to the blog, or new to Freya, the myth of Brisingamen is the most fleshed-out one we have of Freya. In it, Freya, goddess of many things–including, but not limited to, sex, death, wealth, love, and magic–spies a beautiful necklace one day being made by four expert dwarvish craftsmen. She goes to them to gain it, and after some bartering they state that all they want is one night with her, each. Freya agrees, and the dwarves get their time with her and she gets the most beautiful necklace in the world–her key defining symbol, in fact. But what does this one night with her entail? We are left to imagine it for ourselves.

When I used to run my Brisingamen Myth Embodiment workshops, I really tried to help people to open up their ideas of “what would you do with a night with Freya?” Freya is definitely the goddess of wild hot nasty sex, sure–but She is just as much, if not more so, the goddess of emotional, transformational healing. Her method? Maybe it’s sex, and maybe it’s just transformative intimate time spent with another being.

Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of really good ideas as to what might happen. Surprisingly, when I’ve run this with mixed company, the men or male-identified individuals were the ones who come up with the most creative non-sex suggestions. (When I ran this with a female-only group, ironically, even with mixed sexual orientations, the first and most adamant suggestion was “hot nasty sex”.) Some men have suggested, that for example they spend a night being inspired by Freya to further their art medium of choice. Or, they they spend the night just being held and caressed by Freya: being made to feel treasured, or beautiful, maybe for the first time in their lives. Or, that they take advantage of Her vast knowledge of magic and spend the night in intense learning mode, gathering mystical secrets and leveling their understanding of the universe. Some of these suggestions included sex in the bargain, but not all did. I think what most of these suggestions had in common was a desire for intense intimate connection with another living being, with an end goal of being transformed at the end of it.

And, of course, some people just want or need intimacy of hard, heart-pounding sex. Whatever works, eh? That’s another part of Her magic–knowing exactly what it is that each person needs, and being able to provide it. After all, what might heal one person could end up harming another person. Healing would be no good of it were “one size fits all”. Whatever method is used, from whomever it is given, intimacy is the key.

An Introduction to Freya

(A work in progress–please feel free to add your own suggestions down below)

Introduction to Freya

Let me introduce you to my goddess.

Freya is an experience. You feel Her in your heart and in your loins, in the beat of your blood in your veins and the butterflies in your stomach. She can not be “logicked” or reasoned through. (If you’re very lucky, all she will do is smirk at you if you try.) Freya must be felt. If you don’t want to feel, or don’t know how, Her lessons may be painful.

Freya is…. anticipation, sweat, lust, and longing.

Freya is… a sweet, slow lay on a humid summer night.

Freya is… unconditional acceptance and love.

Freya is… transcendental bliss and contentment.

Freya is… butterfly kisses along your jaw and sweet nothings whispered in your ear.

Freya is… a touch that ignites what was long dead.

Freya is…. the uncontrolled passion that sweetly burns up everything you hold dear, yet you can”t bear it to stop.

Freya is… the soul-shattering despair that break your heart.

Freya is… the golden joy that weaves you back together afterwards.

Freya is… fertility of heart, mind, and spirit.

Freya is… the inspiration that always hits at the worst times, but can’t be ignored.

Freya is… a firm hand on your leash and a soft caress behind the whip.

Freya is…. mischief and war when she’s bored.

Freya is… a racing pulse before the ecstasy of the release.

Freya is…. experiencing the underlying beauty of the entire world…including yourself.

Freya is… a slow dance with the one you love.

Freya is…. an erotic striptease from the one you’ve just met.

Freya is….  a bowl of dark chocolate mousse with caramel drizzle and whipped cream on top.

Freya is…. the nectar of over-ripe peaches running down your chin.

Freya is… a cat’s contented stretch and lazy rumble purr.

Freya is… a thousand lessons a book will never teach you.

Freya is… that feeling of being helpless to stop your heart from doing whatever insane thing it wants you to do next.

Freya is… drowning in the experience and being perfectly happy (or completely terrified) to do so.

And on and on. She is as endless as a midsummer twilight and as generous as the flashing sea. What can’t She do or be?

A Heathen at Disney World

My trip to Disney a few weeks ago was eye opening. I ate too much, drank too much, and was way too hot (92F and humid every day!)  But I did have fun despite of it. One of my favorite parts of the trip (unsurprisingly) was visiting Norway at Epcot Center. I hadn’t realized that Disney had put so much effort into the authenticity of their “country” areas at the World Showcase. Needless to say, I was surprised to find a small, authentic wooden stave church (shipped directly from Norway) as well as an homage to many of our Norse Gods. Here is what Disney World has waiting for us Heathens at Epcot:

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May 2017 check-in

This month has seen my brain be completely eaten by my new job. It turns out they were not exaggerating when they said it would take at least 6 months to train me up in the various software programs and procedures. Oh, joy. Until I get a better grasp on what I’m doing there, my energy for all things spiritual will be low. 😦 I’m still blogging once a month at Huginn’s Heathen Hof and I will be leading a couple of workshops at the 1st International Conference of Heathen Women down in Ashville, NC in July.

Until then, enjoy this lovely rendition of Freya’s cloak.

gold feather cloak

 

Facets of Freya monologues

Here are the monologues from Freyja’s Aett’s first “Facets of Freya” ritual, PCon 2015. The specific facets that we covered were Freya in her Warrior/Chooser of the Slain aspect; Freya as the Bearer of Brisingamen; Freya as the Queen of Vanaheim;  Freya who is the embodiment of Desire; and Freya as the one who sees the value and beauty in all things and shares that gift with us.

1. Ember: Vanadis

2. Freybjorg: Brisingamen’s Bearer

3. Meredith: Chooser of the Slain

4. Bella: Lady of Desire

5. Cara: Generous Giver

The basic script for the ritual is available here. Enjoy!

PantheaCon 2016

Here’s my PantheaCon schedule this year:

Things I am in (note the “all late night, all trancey” theme, for the most part)

  • Friday 11PM “All Acts of Love and Pleasure”, Cedar/Pine
  • Saturday 11am “Njord Blot”, Heathen Hospitality Suite, 2nd floor 
  • Saturday 11pm “Facets of Freya”, San Jose/Santa Clara
  • Sunday 9pm: “Matronae Oracular Devotional”, Oak

The All Acts of Love and Pleasure ritual, run by Yeshe Rabbit Matthews’ CAYA group, is meant as a substitute for the usual Friday night Pomba Gira ritual. The structure is “person presents her or his goddess, followed by a danceable song”. There’s about 7 or 8 of us presenting various love and sex deities (Ishtar, Oshun, Venus, etc.). I’m presenting Freya, and, knowing Her, I will most likely be carrying Her throughout the ritual. I didn’t realize at the time that I was asked that this was supposed to be the replacement for Pomba, else I might have been a bit more hesitant to accept a part. Still, when I asked Freya about it, She was pleased. “I shall come down glowing and golden!” She said–or something to that effect, anyway. So the facet of Freya which will show up here will probably be along the lines of Brisingamen Freya or Self-Love Freya.

The Njord Blot is a last-minute addition to the Heathen Hospitality Hall schedule, as He has been poking at me quite strongly recently and I thought He should have a blot. It’ll be informal and, depending on how many people show up, short.

The Facets of Freya ritual is our follow-up to last year’s Facets ritual, which I have saved on the blog (tagline facets of freya). It will follow essentially the same format as the one from last year, but the facets which will be presented are different this year. This year’s facets will draw from the darker sides of Freya–the seidhkona (“witch”); the blot gythia (“leader of the sacrifices”); the survivor (Gullveig, and Freya post-Ragnarok); Mardoll (“She who weeps for Her lover”); and the ever-popular Chooser of the Slain (valkyrie Freya!). Our tagline is, as ever: “Five Freyas, no waiting”.

The last one I’m officially in this year is River Devora and Rynn Fox’s Matronae Oracular Devotional. I’m only on the warding staff, so I’m not as familiar with how this will be set up this year. However, I was on River’s test crew when she was originally hammering out this bit of ritual tech, so I have some idea what to expect. As a side note, I think “the Matronae” as such are making a comeback, as it seems like many European goddesses (Germanic and Celtic ones, in particular) may have gone through a phase in which they were worshipped as part of the Matronae (or maybe an earlier version of the goddesses were part of the Matronae) and so, in a sense, parts of the Matronae have been worshipped more and more frequently over the last 30 years or so. Perhaps the “collective” Matronae entity is finally waking up now. It’s fun stuff to experience/ponder, though I’m happy I’m not trancing in this ritual!)

Things I would like to attend (but let’s be honest, I usually end up wherever the Gods throw me):
Too numerous to list, honestly. Ideally (in no particular order): anything about Heathenry; anything about the Greeks; anything about trance; anything about folklore; anything about horned gods; anything about love goddesses; anything by Shauna Aura KnightJohn Beckett, Hrafnar (Diana Paxon’s kindred), the Vanic Conspiracy, Pandemos, or ADF; and anything else put on by anybody I know. (If the event is before 11AM, it’s unlikely I’ll make it; see the aforementioned all late-night trance rituals this year.) Every year, I spend so much time plotting out all of the rituals and workshops I’d like to attend, but I rarely end up at a quarter of them. I try to let it go and not stress about it. C’est la vie.