Godsdays, July 2015

So today I was feeling what I considered to be unnecessarily exhausted. I finally sat down and made the time to figure out what was going on.

In the last week and a half, I have:

1. Officially canceled the “Facets of Freya” ritual at Many Gods West, and grieved the fact that I am not able to go
2. Got approval for Ember (EmberVoices: Listening to the Vanir) to run her Freya Intensive class instead
3. Slammed my right index finger in my car door (it’s not broken, but the tip of my finger is still numb)
4. Experienced a horrible 24-hour throw-up adventure
5. Gotten into a romantic relationship (with a powerful, energetically sensitive Hella boy, of all people)
6. Also picked up 5 members of his extended family, and met his mom
7. Accepted my bargain with Odin, and started on a 90 day project for Him
8. Experienced a journey which brought me to Freya in Her full-on ecstatic mode…
9. Celebrated the 4th with various picnics and social events
10. Helped said boyfriend navigate new levels of devotional relationship with his goddess
11. Negotiated various family issues, both his and mine
12. Kept up with various program responsibilities
13. Did this.

No wonder I’m so tired. I officially give myself permission to be a vegetative slug for the rest of the week.

Dialing back

So, I’ve gone and completely overbooked myself again. Again, my own fault. No one is pressuring me to do most (if any) of it. I thought perhaps it was the Bay Area’s influence; but no, it’s happening here. It’ll likely happen wherever I go. The problem with moving is that you take yourself with you, you know.

So, now that I’ve met a bunch of people in the area and found some people with whom to do the things I’m most interested in, I’ll be dialing back again. My focus now will be finishing up/deepening ancestor work; continuing and upgrading my work with the Gods (including blogging); and starting to build Heathen community in my area. And relearning to trust other people while I’m at it, it seems. So, we’ll see how it goes :/

Any energy or blessings or good thoughts people want to send to help me achieve this balance will be appreciated 🙂

Heilsa!

PantheaCon Check-in: Friday

So it’s been a busy week getting here, and now I’m at Con, so I figured I should bite the bullet and check in. What I’d like to have right now is have another, say, 10 hours of of doing nothing but processing various emotional and spiritual stuff that has come up, but that’s not in the cards, apparently. But I guess being out of the CA pagan community for three months and then expecting myself to take staying with spiritworker friends and then hitting PCon in stride is, well, expecting a tad much. Bah and bother.

Anyway, check-in:

  • Freyr has a new song: “Suddenly Sutble-Freyr… is standing on my head. Subtle teabagging me….. and waving his dick around…” Brought to you by team River Devora (a devotee of Freyr, among others) and myself.
  • I spent the night before Con, not mingling with various polytheists as I had planned, but finishing up the Love Notes I had started in IL. I had a new batch of people participating in this round of Love Note making, and it was a ton of fun. So many art supplies and bad jokes! Again, brought to you by team Devora/Freyasdaughter.
  • Love Notes are looking to be even more on point this year than last. Three out of the last five have received the “OMG! This is so dead on! How did you/She know?” reaction. We also have considerably fewer Love Notes this year than last, so if you want to get one, you need to get it ASAP as many will be reserved for the Freya ritual on Sunday.
  • Today included trips via car, BART, Caltrain, and again car. So much travel! I no longer have a car at my disposal which makes me exceedingly twitchy; I like to be self-reliant. Which is a vivid reminder of the fact that I am a visitor this year and not a local. Sigh.
  • Tonight’s wanderings included:

–learning more about the Matronae;
–helping to set up the Pandemos (Greek) Hospitality Suite;
–a quick dash around the vendor room searching for my roommate (interrupted occasionally by the checking out the various amber booths);
–hugging a bunch of my peeps and meeting new ones–I think I’ve seen almost everyone at this point;
–encouraging, rather than participating in the Furious Revels due to a bad fall at Caltrain. The Revels went quite well–loud, energetic, and relatively short, with many enthusiastic horned and masked participants);
–libating to half of the Greek pantheon;
–discussing with a youngish Hindu man the similarities and differences between Hinduism and American modern paganism;
–offering my “help” to my Greek co-conspirator, Thenea Pantera, make the Greek suite even more approachable, despite the fact that she had already done an amazing job organizing the food and decorations to make a festive suite and being the point person for it (sorry Nea!)
–completely unpacking (it drives me crazy to live out of a suitcase);
–interrupting Hermes’ kids plans to take over the world;
–bonding and drinking with even more lovely, interesting ladies (and a few guys, as well);
–hearing and sharing Zeus, Odin, Freya, Freyr, and Morrigan stories;
….and doing this.

I hate to admit it, but I don’t think I made it to even one main schedule event (aside from the Furious Revels). Also, eating: I need to do it better.

Up tomorrow: acting as the Zeus priestess for a Zeus/Hera tutelary ritual; attending Coru Cathubodua’s Morrigan devotional ritual; attending Pandemos’ Dionysus ritual; and hopefully being able to make it to various other lectures, panels, and rituals. Sunday will be all Norse, with me leading a Myth Embodiment, an Freya Blot, and the Facets of Freya ritual (which is really turning out to be an amazing collaborative experience).

It’s all still a bit surreal, though; my experience in the Midwest with a sleepy, snowy, comparatively slow-paced atmosphere has, I guess, reduced my tolerance for All Gods And Interfaith Work All The Time. Or maybe it’s just that I’m different and I’m trying to fit back into familiar roles. It’s just too late at night and I’m too tired to analyze it, really. So, off to bed.